Chapter three of So You THINK You Want To Get Married which is titled “So What Do You Think is Behind the Mask?” highlights the fact that in dating relationships, both individuals mask apart of who they are—at least initially.
“A mask is a cover for the face used to disguise a person’s true identity. It conceals one’s genuine character or intentions. In relationships, “wearing masks” causes people to marry individuals they do not really know. It is natural for people to put their “best face forward,” however, marriage-seekers must remember that masks crack and over time the real person is revealed. Therefore, it is best to remove the mask before you say “I do.”
This chapter goes on to discuss areas and issues people tend to hide such as financial issues, previous issues in relationships (i.e. anger, abuse, divorce), medical problems, criminal history or simply a reputation that is less than stellar.
Chapter three admonishes engaged couples to peel back the masks and expose EVERYTHING. It suggests sharing credit histories and conducting background checks on one another.
Marriage is for “better or worse.” Once you’ve made that commitment and entered into covenant with God and your spouse you have agreed and are now joined to your spouse and their entire history—good and bad.
Are background checks really necessary–especially if you have been dating for a while? I mean, isn’t a person’s history, just that? HISTORY? As long as it doesn’t affect us moving why should I care? And what about invasion of privacy? If my fiancé wants me to know something shouldn’t I just trust him/her to share it with me when they are ready instead of forcing the issue?